when i lost angel i knew straight away i wanted a baby after her and i would keep on trying. so after 3month i was pregnant with my rainbow baby i was so scared and happy at the same time. i knew i was going to have a c-section this time and on the 29 Sept 09 my son was born.
i was so happy now i am a mummy that can push her baby around and show him off.
2yr has past and i am thinking about having another baby but this time i am not to should. i got my baby who is a live.
Now is this just me being greedy?
shouldn't i be happy that i got one baby a live??
I didn't second think it about having another one after losing angel, i wanted a baby and nothing else. but now i am scared, all i want is another baby but i don't want to lose another baby.
9month of fear but the best present at then end. (if i am one of the lucky people)
i try and talk to people who have not lost a baby and they don't understand they think it the same feeling that everyone as but i know what it is like to lose a baby, i know the pain...
maybe i am being silly but i tell myself fine don't have anymore babies and my heart brakes, so i do want more.
what if i start trying and i find i cant have anymore??
what if i get pregnant then lose the baby ??
what if i go full term like with angel then the baby is still born??
what if i go full term then i get the baby ?? i can answer that one, i would be over the moon :)
i do know i want another baby because i get very upset when i tell myself i will not try..
maybe i just try, if happens, it happens and if it don't happen i still got my lovely son who make we smile every day ...
I have had 2 children after a loss at 39wks (my 2nd child) and totally understand where ur coming from... I felt determined I wasn;t putting myself thru it again after my first PG after loss - its the longest most stressful 9mnths ever!! I knew I really wanted another but had decided I cldn;t... then I got PG by accident and the choice was taken out of my hands,,, I had to go through it again.... I'm so glad I did as I do feel happier now with 3 living children but that feeling of a missing piece never goes away... I will always long for just one more in a bid to replace the baby I lost however I am still glad I went on to have that 2nd baby after loss as I was in a better position to know how to deal with it having already done it once, I knew the things that would crop up in my care and what I was prepared to accept and what I wasn;t - I was also in a better place mentally to fight for what I needed in my care whereas I wasn;t the first time and my 2 younger boys get on so well (21mnth age gap) I can;t imagine either of them without oneanother... I read 2 really good books which helped me after my loss... Pregnancy after a loss and trying again they were called I think - helped a lot to read other peoples experiences too!
ReplyDeletethanks hun xx i will give them books a read xx
DeleteThe first thing I said AFTER given birth to my sleeping baby was I am never doing that again. But I have changed and hope that we get our rainbow baby. Been trying for only 2 months. Been 5 months since Leia passed away at 35 weeks. I hope you can come check out my blog @ www.letterstoleia.ca
ReplyDeletei had to have a baby after losing angel.. 2009 i had my little boy xx hug and kiss and i will have a look at ur blog xxx and thanks for reading my blog xxx
DeleteIt is so nice to hear that people have gone on to have more babies. Its my sons funeral anniversary today. I desperately want to try again but with the grief of Austins still birth and my surprise hospital dash weeks after I am truly traumatised. I am a strong person but it feels like the fear of losing another would kill me.
ReplyDeleteLove to all.
X
Sally
It is similar to my story,but with different scences.even I feel my son is an angel.That's why I always mention angels in my blog.I am waiting,I believe he will come back
ReplyDeleteI couldn't add you to my blog.pls add me
Nilangi
www.mysmartangels.blogspot.com
www
April 28, 2016 it was supposed to be a regular check up to my dr but upon checking she told me that my baby has no heartbeat and the baby was already 3 weeks dead in my tummy I couldn't accept the truth even I'm in the operating room to remove my baby in my body I was hoping for a big miracle but sad to say it didn't happen.. Its been a few days I lost my heaven but my heart and soul are still grieving for his lost.. Even though I already have 2 daughters this is the 1st time to lost a child and its breaking my heart to a billion pieces.. I only have 1 month to have him in my body
ReplyDeleteIt has been 2 years since I lost my baby girl (39weeks+4days),had the most beautiful and happy rainbow baby in March this year but the pain is still there especially coming to Christmas.It is very hard to talk to somebody about it , thank you for the opportunity to right and to share with you.
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